WTF is ‘Stealing Sugars’?*

Just popping my head over the parapet to say that:
A) Although silent, I have not actually died. I have had my moments of wanting to. 
B) My mother has done a Bad Thing involving my MIL.
C) Harry’s party is proceeding according to plan. The weather will be uber-shite, so the village hall is looking like a good call [...]

I Wrote To The Zoo

I am taking a brief break from my hard-core cleaning marathon. I never knew there were so many spiders in the world, let alone that they had been so unremittingly spinny in my house.
Tuesday sucked, as few other days have sucked. John is of the opinion that being formally diagnosed with a painful condition has [...]

Confirmation

Things Harry did yesterday I forgot to tell you about:
1) Dialled the emergency services. Dialled 999, and got straight through to despatch. Listened to the voice for a while before calmly replacing the receiver. It was Warwickshire constabulary who rang back (greeting John by name, which mystifies me slightly – I can only theorise that his shotgun licence flags [...]

Protected: Plastic Hayburners

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Waiting for Time

I appear to have let more than a week go by without ringing someone and asking them to pleeeeeeease help me have another baby – for free! I saw my counsellor on Tuesday, a woman of profound understanding of the human condition and… and… sense. I am always lost in admiration for the way she combines exquisite sensitivity, genuine compassion [...]

Pigs Have Been Flying

Harry rapidly morphed from his usual flailing bundle of energy into a poorly boy yesterday evening, with a streaming nose, temperature, cough, diarrhoea (which he had, previously, finally, been free of for 4 days) and hoarse little squeak. Which is nothing out of the ordinary, except that we are in a major swine-flu hotspot – all the surrounding villages have cases in the [...]

Not a Fibroid

I dutifully trotted off to Warwick Hospital this morning in order to let the Radiologist play Hunt The Fibroid. I had complained to PhiloGynae of debilitatingly painful periods, occasional jabby-pain during sex, and tsunami-like menstrual flow – two uteri notwithstanding – and so we agreed it was worth another look-see around the old place(s). I’ve [...]

The Arabs Say: They Have Plenty Of Sand Already, Thanks

I have been looking for a job. An actual proper, paying job. Fruitlessly.
My maternity pay – comparatively generous here in the UK - dried up well over a year ago, and since then, we have all been living on Hubby’s income – and eating into savings. Inevitably, there is beginning to be a certain anaemia of the Hairy Exchequer, [...]

Couldn’t Hit a Cow’s Arse with a Banjo

HFF wifey has been busy; neglectful of bloggy chums (for which I abjectly apologise; I have still been reading) and a victim of faceless cyberspace malevolence. I am not glamourous enough for it to be the flamey-trollish kind of random malice – only the very best bloggers attract that sort of spineless venom – my emails simply quietly decided [...]

Shit & No Giggles

I have just found 55 unanswered emails. Hairyfarmer@tiscali.co.uk does not, it appears, come to my inbox at all. They stay out in webworld. Several of you have emailed me, and I have appeared unforgivably rude by not replying.
ARSE.