Saturation

The very talented Helen at Everyday Stranger expressed the definitive opinion to have about Summer 2008. ‘Our English summer this year – like last year – has sucked a clown’s balls.’ 
And it has. It really, really has.
The combine and grain trailers keep getting stuck in the sodding mud.

We can’t even attempt some fields because, although not precipitous in themselves, [...]

Eureka!

Eureka! (Greek “I have found it!”) (Or: “Please hand me a bathrobe!”)
Your wonderful, caring comments made me feel… well, all warm really, despite the icy hand of fear clutching the Wifey-vitals. It’s so comforting to know that there are people inside our droning, rattling battleship of a PC! Lovely people! People that care! People that make hyper-intelligent suggestions, moreover! Albeit they [...]

Yes, we have no bananas.

Dear New Readers who have been promised Funny. (Thanks Pru!)
I’m sincerely apologetic, but I am having a crisis. I am not funny today. Today, I am a thousand words of longwinded and horribly self-involved blathering instead. Perhaps come back next week?
Right.
I do wish I could be one of those people who react to a bit of [...]

In a Jam

Very occasionally, Hairy Farmer Wifey does Farmer Wifey type-things. The regional agricultural show has rolled round again, and it is time to Strut My Domestic Stuff. I missed out on my sheaf of red rosettes last year due to child being unable to read the post-it note in my knickers reading Stay In, You Daft Bugger. 

The spirit of [...]

Fields of Gold

Today is our anniversary. Not of our marriage, or our first date precisely, but just the start of… us. Six years ago today – or possibly tomorrow, we’re never quite sure – John and I were, to quote his Best Man’s wedding speech, alone together in the dusty confines of his combine cab.
***
Picture the scene. A (trim!) woman [...]

I’ll yell

Harry moved into the nursery last Wednesday, at the ripe old age of 1 year & three days old. He occupied a moses basket pulled tight to my bedside for the first few months of his life, followed by a disastrous move into the cotbed placed at the foot of our bed when the basket started to look cramped. Even lying with the pillows turned [...]

Funny Peculiar

The very nice Sam tagged me a little while back for 6 quirky things about me. Compiling the list has not been difficult; merely a challenge to edit, as the list of my oddities is rather long.
1) My hatred towards drivers of BMWs and sport motorbikes is unrelenting and fierce. I almost wish I had one so that I too [...]

Blind Baking

My chaps are both loaded with cold and acutely miserable. They have both demanded, in their distinctly individual ways, Extra Boob as a comfort. Harry’s snot is flowing so unstoppably that I have been reminded of a greenly mucosal magic porridge pot; right up until he lies down to sleep, whereupon it promptly mutates into superglue and chokes him. The poor lad [...]

Hairy Hubby Hardships

The Hairy Hubby has been an anxious chap of late. Unless you knew him particularly well, you’d never notice much of a change, but the fact that his teeth have been grinding noisily in his sleep again is a sure sign A) of worry and B) of an imminent bruised shin.

He has spoken undeniably harsh, defamatory words about his straw [...]

No Udder Milk Will Do

A baby of less emotional intelligence and fiscal insight might have been nonplussed and overwhelmed by such an influx of gaily-wrapped parcels and adoring relatives and friends.

Not Harry.
He clambered determinedly over the increasingly vertiginous heap, bestowing the odd possessive pat here and there on a particularly honoured leg or an exceptionally sparkly package.
He likes the truck John and I gave him

but embarrassingly, [...]