Updated: Down t’my chins

Thank you kindly for the lovely comments: I am a happy girl again. That’s the thing with glum posts, I suppose – they’re the virtual equivalent of dolefully howling HOLLLD MEEEEE! And you did. Tenderly!
I am up to my chins in rubbish currently, and cannot indulge in my usual wordy pontification. I am tidying like [...]

Woe!

I am going to tell you about the things that are pissing me off. I intend to enumerate all my anguished trivialities, so feel free to skip this one and come back another day when I’m chirpier.
I have been immovably stuck on 14st4 for nearly two weeks, despite being very restrained, and really had my heart very much [...]

…and suffocate the ants, in an English Country Garden

I have been gardening. I am hot, sun-burned and cross. I bet this never happens to Alan beatific bloody Titchmarsh.
It hasn’t been the best of weeks: child has been teethy - the sixth one has broken cover – and hubby and I have been unhappily and increasingly squabblesome about tensions that we must and will address. You’d think that merrily surviving the trials of [...]

Photo Finish

The thing with crawling, you see, is that there appears to be an inherent speed-limit. There is only so fast you can move hands and knees before overcooking it and plunging forward in a spectacular dive. Usually, these moments occur when excitement has reached such an enthralling peak that it begins to impinge on co-ordination. Crawling races with Daddy, [...]

Thaw

A frost that could chill your beer has finally lifted from the HFF household this evening. It settled coolly around everyone’s vitals on Wednesday at lunchtime, when I lost my rag with the hairy hubby over tense horticultural issues. 
Context: I have been planning Harry’s first birthday party since… Oooo, since the final attendee of his Christening party departed [...]

Protected: That is the Question

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Then I Met A Man With No Feet

It’s 9.30pm and I have just woken up from my booze-induced stupor. And it’s Sunday!  Dear me. How hedonistic. Two glasses of wine at lunchtime and I could barely string a sentence together. I was obliged to crawl blearily out of the car and lurch upstairs to sleep it off. Hubby, as usual, was both amused and slack-jawed [...]

Life & Death

It’s been a polarised kind of day.
Hubby attended the military funeral of one of his friends.
I have been up since 5am attempting to watch the chicks hatch out, and doing badly. I thought the first little guy was stuck, so helped him out myself. I went back to bed for an hour at 8am, convinced that no more action was imminent. I [...]

One Man in a Tractor

The immortal JK Jerome once wrote:
‘You can never rouse Harris. There is no poetry about Harris – no wild yearning for the unattainable. Harris never “weeps, he knows not why.” If Harris’s eyes fill with tears, you can bet it is because Harris has been eating raw onions, or has put too much Worcester over [...]

Robin vs Priscilla, Round II

Today I went on a shopping trip to Birmingham with both my mother and a teething baby. Brave, yes? I went with the intent of shopping for clothes, both for self and child. So frankly, it was never destined to go well.
Recent experiences involving reflective shop windows and my mile-wide bottom have taught me to skulk in [...]